Understanding the Decline of an Aging Parent
As a parent of a young child, one is very aware of the developmental milestones which are associated with each stage of a child’s growth. Skills such as sitting up, taking a first step, smiling for the first time, and hand-waving are called developmental milestones. Children reach milestones in how they play, learn, speak, behave, and move from turning over to crawling to walking.
An aging parent goes from walking to being unable to walk without assistance…..to being unsafe or unable without someone to help. These are challenging milestones.
Caregivers for an aging loved one need a way to monitor milestones in the aging process. At Butte Home Health & Hospice, we have developed a tool to assist caregivers in evaluating the needs of aging loved ones in order to provide the support needed to continue caring for them. Changes can be subtle, but significant, when viewed from the perspective of developmental milestones.
If you think about the growth of a child, imagine it in reverse. An aging parent goes from walking to being unable to walk without assistance, from having a healthy appetite to eating very little and needing assistance with eating, from smiling readily to an emotional withdrawal from what used to be fun, from being able to manage simple activities of toileting and bathing to being unsafe or unable without someone to help. These are challenging milestones.
If you are caring for an aging parent or loved one and feeling the stress and uncertainty of the process, we welcome you to contact us. Our team is available to answer questions or to provide an evaluation of your concerns without any charge to you.
Below is a list of common milestones in older adults. Take a look at the list and if you recognize more than a few, read below for ways to seek assistance.
Milestones for Aging Adults
Mobility: Assistance needed to get out of a chair; sleeping in a recliner at night; falls due to throw rugs or steps; inability to ambulate.
Language: difficulty finding words; decreased conversation; does not initiate conversation.
Memory: increasing difficulty in remembering names or appointments; repetitive questions or conversations; constantly misplacing commonly used items (keys, wallet, purse, etc.).
Hearing: increasing difficulty in comprehending soft voices and rapid speech; increased paranoia due to lack of hearing or understanding.
Appetite: not motivated to prepare meals; difficulty feeding self; “forgetting” to eat; takes more than ½ hour to complete a meal.
Weight: Unintentional weight loss (10% or more in the past 6 months); loose fitting clothes; obvious loss of muscle tone.
Illness: frequent ER visits: urinary tract infections; respiratory infections; pneumonia.
Emotions: loss of ability to smile; withdrawal from activities or hobbies; increased use of alcohol; unusually sad or lacking interest in life.
Pain: persistent pain even when treated; over-use of medicines for pain (prescription or over-the-counter); maintaining same posture for hours to prevent pain.
Personal care: lack of personal hygiene; infrequent bathing or refusal to bathe; wearing the same clothes each day.
Finances: Bills not being paid on time; collection notices; unexplained withdrawals or payments to unknown organizations.
Safety: Unexplained damage to vehicle or home (damage to garage, broken towel bars, holes in wall); broken household items; burns to countertops or pots and pans.
Sleep: Sleeping more than 12 hours in a day; stays in bed unusually late; falls asleep during visits.
If you recognize several of these milestones for your aging loved one, you may wonder, “Now what do I do?” Butte Home Health & Hospice can help! We invite you to consult with our staff about how we can assist you in communicating with your loved one’s physician, accessing Medicare certified home care, making adaptations to the home, providing professional companionship and caregiving, and offering referrals to community resources for the elderly.
Rev. Bronson Pittman is the Chaplain of Butte Home Health and Hospice. For more than 21 years, he has provided spiritual care and counseling support for thousands of hospice patients and families in the 5 counties served by Butte Hospice. In addition, he manages the Medical Social Service Department at Butte Home Health. He is a graduate of the California State University, Fullerton (BA Philosophy) and The American Baptist Seminary of the West (MA Divinity). He also studied as a post-graduate at the University of Calgary, Alberta. He has served as pastor of churches in California and Wyoming. He is married to his high school sweetheart and has 3 children and 1 grandchild. He enjoys international travel, classical music, history, philosophy, theology and art.
